Most people don't like to fail. If you're like me, the thought of failing is more of a fear...so much so it makes me feel anxiety. I have a really hard time admitting when I've done something wrong or admitting I've made a mistake. If I were to do that I would be admitting FAILURE!!! So most of the time, when things don't work out or go as planned, I just gloss over it with "ehhh it wasn't the best decision, but I'm glad I did it! I learned so much!" This could be considered a "positive outlook" on the situation as we are constantly encouraged to see the best in ourselves and NEVER look at our faults in today's society. Maybe This isn't that big of a problem. But, recently I've been thinking about why it is a problem...
For instance there have been relationships I've been in that weren't good ones. The people I was with were fantastic individuals and I love them dearly...but the way I handeled and viewed the relationships was not in a good way. If I had recognized that earlier, maybe I would have avoided some of the pain I felt when they ended. Also, now as I view them in retrospect, with my "positive view" I can tend to romanticize them a bit, overlooking the parts that were mistakes and only seeing the things I miss or maybe and possible worse, the mistakes I perceive them to have made. This is NOT a healthy way of looking at the situation and it is definitely not a way to move forward....
Of course I must also look at the opposite end of the spectrum...that being complete regret of the situation. This too is a dangerous way of looking at things as it can lead to depression and self-loathing...that "it's too late for me" mentality. I don't want to live my life in regret, in fact that also may be a fear of mine...it makes me the amazingly indecisive person I am today ^_^ buy you know what? I think that recognizing a mistake for what it is, does not mean it has to be a regret! Here is what I mean...
When I look back at the decisions I have made or at the way things have ended up in my life I try my best to recognize the logical reasoning behind each occurance. I look at the way each situation made me feel, I look at what I learned, I look at how other people were affected and I finally look at how my relationship with God was affected. Each of these viewpoints help me to see the situation the way it needs to be seen. If I look at the world with eyes outside of my own, I can see things for how they really are rather than how I want to see them or how I'm afraid to see them. That means recognizing mistakes, learning instead of regretting, and loving instead of loathing. Of course, I would never be able to do this if I didn't have the Holy Spirit inside me gently urging me to listen to God instead of those annoying voices that want me to revel in the fact I failed.
Every time I feel pain from a mistake or anxiety from failing, I ask for forgiveness, healing, and the knowledge of love....because as it is said, perfect love casts out all fear. So next time you feel like you are regretting something, ask Jesus to show you his love, and then show that love to someone else. Moving forward only happens when you stop dwelling on things you can no longer change anyways. Moving forward is focusing on the things you CAN change. I love you all! and I'll post again soon.
Song of the day is "King" by Lauren Aquilina
My verse of the day is- 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
Drink of the day is- Earl Grey tea
For instance there have been relationships I've been in that weren't good ones. The people I was with were fantastic individuals and I love them dearly...but the way I handeled and viewed the relationships was not in a good way. If I had recognized that earlier, maybe I would have avoided some of the pain I felt when they ended. Also, now as I view them in retrospect, with my "positive view" I can tend to romanticize them a bit, overlooking the parts that were mistakes and only seeing the things I miss or maybe and possible worse, the mistakes I perceive them to have made. This is NOT a healthy way of looking at the situation and it is definitely not a way to move forward....
Of course I must also look at the opposite end of the spectrum...that being complete regret of the situation. This too is a dangerous way of looking at things as it can lead to depression and self-loathing...that "it's too late for me" mentality. I don't want to live my life in regret, in fact that also may be a fear of mine...it makes me the amazingly indecisive person I am today ^_^ buy you know what? I think that recognizing a mistake for what it is, does not mean it has to be a regret! Here is what I mean...
When I look back at the decisions I have made or at the way things have ended up in my life I try my best to recognize the logical reasoning behind each occurance. I look at the way each situation made me feel, I look at what I learned, I look at how other people were affected and I finally look at how my relationship with God was affected. Each of these viewpoints help me to see the situation the way it needs to be seen. If I look at the world with eyes outside of my own, I can see things for how they really are rather than how I want to see them or how I'm afraid to see them. That means recognizing mistakes, learning instead of regretting, and loving instead of loathing. Of course, I would never be able to do this if I didn't have the Holy Spirit inside me gently urging me to listen to God instead of those annoying voices that want me to revel in the fact I failed.
Every time I feel pain from a mistake or anxiety from failing, I ask for forgiveness, healing, and the knowledge of love....because as it is said, perfect love casts out all fear. So next time you feel like you are regretting something, ask Jesus to show you his love, and then show that love to someone else. Moving forward only happens when you stop dwelling on things you can no longer change anyways. Moving forward is focusing on the things you CAN change. I love you all! and I'll post again soon.
Song of the day is "King" by Lauren Aquilina
My verse of the day is- 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
Drink of the day is- Earl Grey tea